NPark

11.4.09

Am I not good enough?

It has been long long time I didn't update my blog. No emotion been touched for things happen.
Something has changed this few days. Attending a Leadership training for the past 3 days. Beside the theoretical part, we have received our own motive and values analysis. On top of that, 360 degree of survey has been done and received a bomb from what I perceive myself and what other people's perception on me. What a plenty room of improvement, if looking at the bright side.
I'm still a young leader, who just start my journey not long ago. It's normal if I'm still not doing it right. However, maybe I'm a perfectionist. I do feel down when I find out I'm not good enough.
Am I not good enough of leading a team? Am I not good enough of being a superior? Am I not good enough to plan and build up somebody's career? Am I not good enough to being a peer to help up the others? Am I not good enough to help up my boss? And most importantly, am I in the right path to move forward?
A lot of things come into my mind. A lot of things need to be done. A lot of thinking need to be go through first. Unlucky part is, I need to fill up my career progress report in the mist.
Whether I shall scrub up the report tomorrow or not, I am more looking it as a frankly opportunity to reset my gear. I do not mind to stand a bit longer here, but looking to move my first step again in the correct direction.
We will be giving chance to have one to one session with one of the consultant on Monday. I pray hard to God, please assign the speaker to me. He is really an experience and sincere consultant that I have met. I hope he can help me to clear my doubts about the choices that I shall take.
God bless me!

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